Relationships - Page 2 of 29

The Personality Trait Linked To Infidelity

Infidelity is linked to low self-esteem, distress and divorce.

People high on the personality trait of ‘sexual narcissism’ are more likely to cheat on their partner, research finds.

Narcissists of this type are not just full of themselves in general, but full of themselves in the bedroom.

They are people who will do whatever it takes to sleep with whoever they like, as they feel they deserve it.

This sense of entitlement is one of the strongest signs of cheating behaviour.

They also tend to have an over-inflated idea of their skills in the bedroom.

However, they have little interest in what their partner wants and do not mind exploiting others.

The conclusions come from a study of 123 newlyweds who were tracked for between one and four years.

They were asked about their satisfaction with the relationship, narcissism and whether they had cheated on their partner.

The authors describe narcissism as…

“…a multifaceted personality style characterized by tendencies toward exploiting others, a general lack of empathy for others, and a pervasive confidence in one’s abilities”

The results revealed that 5% of couples experienced extramarital affairs in this period — half of the cheaters were husbands, half were wives.

Factors that predicted cheating, along with this type of narcissism, were low relationship satisfaction and the overall amount of narcissism of the couple together.

The authors confirm the damaging consequences of infidelity for a relationship:

“…infidelity can have serious negative consequences for those involved.

Not only is infidelity associated with decreased relationship satisfaction in both partners, it is has been identified as one of the most common predictors of divorce.

Further, those who commit infidelity and their partners also frequently experience negative intrapersonal outcomes, such as decreased self-esteem and increased psychological distress.”

The study was published in the journal ASB (McNulty & Widman, 2014).

Does Forgiving Really Lead To Forgetting? (M)

Could forgiving someone actually help you forget the pain they caused?

Keep reading with a Premium Membership

• Read members-only and premium articles
• Access courses
• Adverts removed
• Cancel at any time
• 14 day money-back guarantee for new members

Join Premium

Science Says Look for This Personality Trait in Your Partner

This personality trait was linked to less marital conflict.

Positivity is one of the best personality traits for a partner, research finds.

Women who have positive partners report less marital conflict.

Other personality factors are also linked to a better relationship:

Women fought less with introverted men.
Women had less conflict with men who had stable emotions.

Marital conflict included things like criticism, too many demands or just getting on the other person’s nerves.

Along with personality factors, health was also important.

Women had less marital conflict if their partner was in good health.

Dr James Iveniuk, the study’s first author, said:

“Wives report more conflict if their husband is in poor health.

If the wife is in poor health, there doesn’t seem to be any difference in terms of the quality of the marriage for the husband.”

The conclusions come from a study of 953 hetersexual couples who had been together for an average of 39 years.

The results showed that the personality and health of the man was linked to marital conflict.

However, the woman’s personality and health made little difference in this regard, said Dr Iveniuk:

“Wives whose husbands show higher levels of positivity reported less conflict.

However, the wives’ positivity had no association with their husbands’ reports of conflict.”

Professor Linda J. Waite, study co-author, said:

“Several previous studies have been about the implications of marital status on health.

This research allows us to examine individual marriages and not ‘married people.’

We have the reports on the quality of the marriage from each person, about their own personality and their own health.”

The study was published in the Journal of Marriage and Family (Iveniuk et al., 2014).

60% Believe In This Damaging Fantasy About How Relationships Work (M)

Happiness is made, not found: but almost two-thirds believe in a backwards conception of relationship development.

Keep reading with a Premium Membership

• Read members-only and premium articles
• Access courses
• Adverts removed
• Cancel at any time
• 14 day money-back guarantee for new members

Join Premium

7 Psychology Studies On Love’s Strange Secrets

Uncover love’s strange secrets with these seven illuminating psychology studies on relationships.

These seven psychology studies explore how we navigate love, loss and connection.

They shed light on how our gender can influence our priorities, how we recover from heartbreak and the subtle dynamics that shape long-term partnerships.

They also explore the impact of bullying on teenagers and the power of self-compassion in romantic relationships.

These studies are all from the members-only section of PsyBlog — if you are not already, find out how to become a PsyBlog member here.

1.

What Men And Women Really Get Jealous About (M)

Are you misinterpreting your partner’s jealousy triggers?

This Is How Long It Takes To Recover From Divorce And Breakups (M)

Researchers tracked over 200,000 people to reveal the hidden impact of breakups on mental health.

Revealing The Unconscious Thoughts That Shape Your Relationship (M)

Learn why positivity might not be enough to save your love life.

Why People Who Are Bullied Develop Relationship Problems (M)

How bullying in adolescence plants seeds of suspicion that lead to mental health struggles later in life.

How To Unleash The Beautiful Emotion That Transforms Relationships (M)

The transformative power of this emotion in romantic relationships.

The Percentage Of Men And Women Open To Multiple Partners

Up to 5 percent of people in the U.S. report they are currently in a consensual non-monogamous relationships.

Who Says “I Love You” First: Men Or Women? (M)

Saying “I love you” is a risk — if it is not reciprocated it could irreparably damage the relationship.

The Most Attractive Quality In A Friend Is What Narcissists Lack

Narcissists tend to make friends quickly, but often find it hard to keep them because they lack a critical quality.

Narcissists attract others at first, but it’s emotional intelligence that helps us make friends in the long-term, research finds.

Qualities like empathy, the ability to control the emotions and investing in the relationship lead to better friendships…eventually.

The study’s authors write:

“…the combination most beneficial for long-term peer popularity is low narcissism paired with high EI [emotional intelligence].

It seems that a quieter and less needy ego, coupled with abilities to perceive, understand, use, and manage emotions, ensure better relationships in the long run.”

But at first sight, narcissists are tremendously attractive to others.

Their self-assurance and showmanship tends to draw people in.

Make friends for life

For the study, first year college students’ narcissistic tendencies were measured along with their emotional intelligence.

They were followed over three months to see how their popularity went up and down.

The results showed that those who did worst, in terms of friendships, were those low in both narcissism and emotional intelligence.

Those high in both qualities — a small minority — attracted friends early and held on to them.

Most people had a combination of average narcissistic tendencies and average emotional intelligence, and they did OK when trying to make friends.

For the long-term, though, emotional intelligence was the most important factor.

The study’s authors explain its long-term benefits:

“There was a positive effect of EI over time suggesting that revealing emotional skills needs time, as chances for regulating affect or understanding peers’ feelings appear only in specific social interactions.

Hence, emotionally intelligent people find more friends with time than their emotionally unintelligent counterparts.

The likely driving forces for these effects are high communal qualities of emotionally intelligent persons, which get noticed and appreciated by their social surrounding over time.”

The study was published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (Czarna et al., 2016).

The Simplest Way To Improve A Toxic Relationship

Partners with an avoidant attachment style do not want to get close.

One of the most toxic relationship patterns is called an ‘avoidant attachment style’.

It is when one person (or both) in a relationship won’t commit because they want to avoid getting too attached to the other.

Around one quarter of people are avoidant.

However, simple exercises that build intimacy can help to improve this relationship pattern, research shows.

For one exercise, couples in the study took turns answering a series of questions that involved sharing information with each other.

Here are a few of the questions:

Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …”
When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
Would you like to be famous? In what way?

All of these questions — which were designed by New York psychologist Professor Arthur Aron — help make couples feel more intimate with each other.

You can read all 36 question to fall in love here.

People in the study also did partner yoga, which is a series of poses designed for two people.

After doing the yoga and asking and answering the questions, partners with a more avoidant attachment style gave higher ratings to the relationship.

The researchers also gave some couples diaries to complete for three weeks.

These showed that listening and making the other feel loved did a lot to improve relationships.

Many activities to improve a difficult relationship take relatively little effort.

Just asking and answering thoughtful questions can make a real difference in reducing negative emotions and promoting satisfaction.

In addition, people found reflecting on positive relationship memories to be beneficial.

The study’s authors conclude:

“Although individuals who are more avoidantly attached tend to eschew intimacy and experience negativity in their relationships, recent research suggests that positive relationship contexts may help avoidant persons be more comfortable with closeness and experience better individual and relationship outcomes.

Simple positive and intimacy-promoting relationship experiences had both short and long-term effects for more avoidant persons.”

The study was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Stanton et al., 2017).