Category: Relationships

This hormone linked to dissatisfaction with current partner and more flirting with others.

Women with higher levels of the sex hormone oestradiol are more likely to cheat on their partner.

High oestradiol levels were linked to a higher chance of a women flirting, kissing and having an affair with another man.

High levels of the hormone were also linked to being more dissatisfied with their current partner.

However, women with high oestradiol levels were not looking for a one-night stand, but were serial monogamists.

Oestradiol is an ovarian hormone that is critical to reproduction.

Women who have high levels of oestradiol are generally more fertile, so have a greater chance of conception.

Oestradiol is also linked to many physical features that men find attractive, such as high facial symmetry.

Dr Kristina Durante, the study’s first author, said:

“The study offers further evidence that physiological mechanisms continue to play a major role in guiding women’s sexual motivations and behavior.”

For the study, 52 women had hormonal tests and were asked about their physical attractiveness and propensity to cheat on their partner.

High oestradiol levels were not just linked to cheating, but also to greater physical attractiveness as rated by themselves and other people.

In other words, more fertile women are better looking and they know it.

Dr Durante said:

“Our findings show that highly fertile women are not easily satisfied by their long-term partners and are motivated to seek out more desirable partners.

However, that doesn’t mean they’re more likely to engage in casual sex.

Instead, they adopt a strategy of serial monogamy.”

The study was published in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society of London: Biology Letters (Durante & Li, 2009).

The worst type of conflict for a relationship is linked to suicidal thoughts.

Unresolved conflicts in a relationship are linked to more suicidal thoughts.

People who are unhappy with their relationship and have unresolved issues with their partner’s personality, communication, failure to do housework or bad habits, experience more suicidal thoughts.

In fact, it is better for mental health to be single than in an unsatisfactory relationship with unresolved issues.

In general, though, being in a good relationship is positive for mental health.

Dr Benedikt Till, co-author of the research, explains:

“Data so far clearly show that a person’s suicide risk is lower if he/she is in a relationship.

However, the recent study suggests that the level of satisfaction with the relationship is also important.”

The survey asked 382 people in Austria about their relationships and any suicidal thoughts they were experiencing.

Unresolved conflicts were a warning sign in people who were unhappy with their relationships.

The study also found that the young and middle-aged were less likely to have suicidal thoughts.

The study’s authors write:

“Risk factors for suicide were higher among singles than among individuals in happy relationships, but lower among those with low relationship satisfaction.

Participants reporting a high number of unsolved conflicts in their relationship had higher levels of suicidal ideation, hopelessness, and depression than individuals who tend to solve issues with their partner amicably or report no conflicts.”

The study was published in the journal Crisis: The Journal of Crisis Intervention and Suicide Prevention (Till et al., 2017).

Distraction, reappraisal, or negative thinking — which works best?

The best way to get over a breakup is to think about your ex negatively.

For example, consider their negative qualities or the irritating parts of the relationship.

Compared with other strategies, reappraising the relationships in negative terms helps to reduce the love felt towards an ex.

The downside of this strategy is that it puts people in a bad mood initially.

After all, it is painful to think negatively about someone that you were or are still in love with.

How to feel better

In contrast, distract yourself improves mood, for example with socialising, work, movies, TV or other activities.

However, this does not address the core issue and will not make much difference in the long-term to romantic feelings.

Indeed, distraction is really a form of avoidance.

Avoidance is often considered psychologically bad because it is running away from the problem.

The study was based on 24 people who were coming out of relationships that had lasted 2-3 years.

They were split into three groups to test different strategies for coping, with a fourth providing a control.

Along with thinking negatively about their partner and distraction, the researchers also tested trying to accept the emotions related to the breakup.

Acceptance, though, did not provide any benefit that this study could measure.

Think negative

The study’s authors write that people are likely to use thinking negatively about their ex when heartbroken:

“[people] reported [using] this strategy when they were heartbroken, albeit more to decrease love feelings than to feel better…

Even though negative reappraisal may result in negative affect at this moment, it might decrease how upset someone is about the break-up.

It has been shown that thinking negative thoughts about the relationship indeed has adaptive features when recovering from a romantic break-up.

So, negative reappraisal has an unfavorable short-term effect on affect, but may have favorable long-term effects when used after a break-up.”

The study was published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General (Langeslag & Sanchez, 2018).

Marriage is about balancing what you put in with what you expect to get out.

Couples are becoming increasingly dissatisfied with their marriages because they are demanding more without putting in the necessary time.

Spouses either need to demand less from their relationship or put in more effort, says psychologist Professor Eli Finkel.

Increasingly, those with children put all their time into parenting and those without children concentrate on work.

As a result, there is less time to spend on the relationship.

Professor Finkel, the study’s first author, sees two options:

“You can demand less from your partner, focusing less on resource-intensive self-expressive needs, or supply more time and other resources into the marriage.”

It is not so much that people demand more from modern marriages than they used to, though, says Professor Finkel:

“The issue isn’t that Americans are expecting more versus less from their marriage, but rather that the nature of what they are expecting has changed.

They’re asking less of their marriage regarding basic physiological and safety needs, but they’re asking more of their marriage regarding higher psychological needs like the need for personal growth.”

The best marriages now are probably better than they ever were in the past, but many do not reach these exacting standards.

Professor Finkel says:

“In contemporary marriages, Americans look to their marriage to help them ‘find themselves’ and to pursue careers and other activities that facilitate the expression of their core self.

However, developing such insight requires a heavy investment of time and psychological resources in the marriage, not to mention strong relationship skills and interpersonal compatibility.”

Marriage is about balancing what you put in with what you expect to get out, says Professor Finkel:

“In general, if you want your marriage to help you achieve self-expression and personal growth, it’s crucial to invest sufficient time and energy in the marriage.

If you know that the time and energy aren’t available, then it makes sense to adjust your expectations accordingly to minimize disappointment.”

The study was published in the journal Current Directions in Psychological Science (Finkel et al., 2015).

Watch the eyes for this sign that a partner is 50 percent more likely to cheat on you.

Partners who spend a fraction of a second longer looking at other people they find attractive are 50 percent more likely to cheat.

The marriages of those who can’t keep their eyes in their heads are also more likely to fail.

Other signs of infidelity were hidden in couple’s appearance and dating history.

Less attractive women were more likely to be unfaithful, it emerged.

Among men, those that reported more short-term sexual partners before marriage were more likely to have an affair.

The opposite was true for women: the more sex partners before marriage, the more faithful women were during marriage.

The conclusions come from a study in which newlyweds were shown pictures of both average-looking and very attractive men and women.

Those that had trouble looking away from the very attractive pictures were 50% more likely to cheat.

Professor Jim McNulty, the study’s first author, said:

“People are not necessarily aware of what they’re doing or why they’re doing it.

These processes are largely spontaneous and effortless, and they may be somewhat shaped by biology and/or early childhood experiences.”

Faithful newlyweds were more likely to downgrade or discount the very attractive faces they saw.

This helped them put these other options out of their mind.

The study followed 233 newlyweds for up to the first 3.5 years of their marriage.

Professor McNulty said that social media has a role to play in the US divorce rate, which is approaching 50 percent:

“With the advent of social media, and thus the increased availability of and access to alternative partners, understanding how people avoid the temptation posed by alternative partners may be more relevant than ever to understanding relationships.”

The study was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (McNulty et al., 2018).