The type of narcissism that is linked to bullying and violence among women differs from men.
Signs of narcissism are more than just being self-confident or self-absorbed, the personality trait is complex.
Signs of narcissism are more than just being self-confident or self-absorbed, the personality trait is complex.
Narcissism refers to being self-centred, boastful and preoccupied with one’s own needs — which is relatively normal and common among people.
Like all personality traits, narcissism exists on a continuum — most people are at least a little narcissistic.
However, at the extreme narcissism can be become a personality disorder.
Typical traits or signs of narcissism in someone with a narcissistic personality disorder include:
Psychologists have suggested different types of narcissists:
Here are some of the ways that these traits manifest themselves:
One thing everyone notices about the narcissist is that they appear very full of themselves and self-centred.
But, some people are full of themselves because they simply have high self-esteem, and possibly for good reason.
The narcissist, though, feels they are superior to others, but at the same time not very satisfied with themselves.
Their self-esteem is brittle, ready to crack and reveal the uncertainties underneath.
At their core, they can feel a certain lack, which is why criticism makes narcissists aggressive.
The narcissist loves nothing better than when others gather round to tell them how great they are.
And narcissists believe every single word of even the most exaggerated flattery.
While others take it with a pinch of salt, the narcissist laps it all up, believing they are only getting their due.
The reason they are so susceptible to flattery is that their ambition knows no bounds.
They really believe they are royalty.
If you don’t offer flattery to the narcissist, they will start to solicit it from you: “What do you think of my hair today, doesn’t it look nice?”
Narcissists love to make a big production out of everything.
They can turn on the charm in an instant.
It’s why they appear so often on reality TV shows, and TV and entertainment in general.
They adore attention and will do anything to get it from others.
This makes them very attractive, at least initially.
Their antics provide a welcome break from the workaday world.
Watching a narcissist is very entertaining…
…until, of course, they turn…
Most people experience the odd burst of envy from time-to-time, but for the narcissist envy burns brightly.
Narcissists are deeply involved with how they are doing in comparison to others.
This means they get pleasure from devaluing others and from showing how much better they are themselves.
Naturally, then, they are competitive and likely to be poor losers.
(However, grandiose narcissist do not feel much envy.)
The narcissist cares little for how others feel, they are only interested in getting their own needs met.
And their own needs are simple enough: to be worshipped as a living God.
Some narcissists can be very manipulative in order to get what they want.
They take advantage and think little of others’ feelings.
Then, when they have satisfied their egos, it is all over as if nothing happened.
Some narcissists fit in reasonably well with society.
‘Successful’ narcissists manage to maintain their jobs and relationships by keeping their tendencies in check.
For the more volatile narcissist, though, their narcissism escapes in most situations.
They immediately blow up at even the slightest criticism — sometimes known as narcissistic rage.
Their envy, insecurity and vanity boils over at every available opportunity.
The effect is to push people away, tired of being used and abused.
So the narcissist ends up continually seeking new friends and a new audience, after the old ones have got fed up with their antics.
Beyond the signs of narcissism mentioned above, one can concentrate on their body language.
There are some conversational signs of narcissism to look out for (from Holtzman et al., 2010):
One study even suggests that narcissistic eyebrows are the facial feature that reveals their personalites.
However, narcissists do not use the pronoun “I” more in conversation (Carey et al., 2015).
It might seem odd that people who are so self-focused, self-important and superior do not use the words “I” and “me” more often, but the finding is consistent.
Ms Angela Carey, the study’s first author, said:
“There is a widely assumed association between use of first-person singular pronouns, what we call I-talk, and narcissism, among laypeople and scientists despite the fact that the empirical support for this relation is surprisingly sparse and generally inconsistent.”
Many narcissists do not have a personality disorder, but their tendencies towards narcissism can be seen in their personality traits.
Research finds that narcissists are highly extraverted along with being disagreeable (Bradlee & Emmons, 1992; Paulhus, 2001).
The combination of the two personality traits explains how narcissists are both very sociable and also prone to being rude and selfish.
Their extraversion makes them very positive.
Along with their self-confidence and energy, people find them very attractive — at first.
Narcissists try to take control of situations and are happy to manipulate people — even if their strategies are self-defeating over the long-term.
Most people who are around narcissists for a while start to notice how disagreeable they are — they have little or no interest in other people’s feelings.
They can also go into a narcissistic rage.
A narcissist will usually prefer to appear higher status, even at the cost of being much less agreeable:
“…the willingness of narcissists to accept negative judgments of their likability as long as they receive positive judgments of their status gives them high overall scores on the NPI [Narcissistic Personality Inventory].”
The conclusions come from two studies, one that surveyed 102 people and the other that reviewed the research on personality and narcissism.
Professor Delroy L. Paulhus, an expert on dark personalities, explains how high extraversion and being disagreeable make a narcissist:
“…reward-sensitivity as the central component.
Thus, the pursuit of rewarding goals is paramount in the cognitions of extraverts.
They also show high levels of self-confidence, optimism, and promiscuous sexual behavior.
Disagreeable individuals display, at best, a cold disdain for others and aggressive anger, when frustrated.
As a combination, the subset of disagreeable reward seekers constitutes those who actively pursue rewards but react with aggression when frustrated in these attempts.”
The narcissist also has a curious combination of an overly positive view of themselves and overly negative view of others:
“…narcissists’ relationships are characterized by an asymmetric positive view of the self and a negative view of other whereas relationships among those with high self-esteem are characterized by a symmetric positive view of both self and other.”
Aging: the ultimate antidote to narcissism?
“They’re thinking really negative, hostile, critical things about other people.”
“They’re thinking really negative, hostile, critical things about other people.”
Narcissistic perfectionists — like the late Steve Jobs — are arguably the worst type of narcissists.
They are grandiose, see themselves as special, have a high sense of entitlement and extremely high expectations of others.
Plus, they love to criticise.
Logan Nealis, the study’s first author, said:
“A narcissistic perfectionist parent demands perfect performance from his daughter on the hockey rink, but not necessarily from anyone else out there.
They’re getting a sense of vitality or self-esteem through the perfect performance of other people, and they bask in that glow vicariously.”
For the research, students were asked to keep 28-day diaries.
The results revealed that narcissistic perfectionists were socially toxic.
Dr Simon Sherry, study co-author, said:
“Our most consistent finding across the two studies is that narcissistic perfectionism is associated with social negativity in the form of anger, derogation, conflict and hostility.”
Dr Sherry continued:
“When you look at what appears to be happening between the ears of a narcissistic perfectionist, you see they’re thinking really negative, hostile, critical things about other people.
They maintain this superior sense of themselves: ‘I’m perfect, I’m awesome, and you’re not so you’re defective.”
The study’s authors analyse the biographies of famous narcissistic perfectionists, include former Apple CEO, Steve Jobs:
“According to one biography, [Jobs] expected perfection from others in an entitled, demanding, and hyper-critical manner.
Employees reported going from ‘hero to zero’ in Jobs’ estimation after even minor mistakes; employees also noted Jobs routinely derogated them in front of co-workers.”
Logan Nealis said:
“If you have high expectations of someone, that may well be a positive thing—if it’s paired with a warm, nurturing interpersonal style.
But high expectations paired with feelings of grandiosity and entitlement to the perfect performance of others creates a much more negative combination.”
Dr Sherry continued:
“We may be characterizing a problem of our times.
It may very well be that we live in an age of entitlement where grandiose demands are often made in everyday life.
Narcissistic perfectionists have a need for other people to satisfy their unreasonable expectations… And if you don’t, they get angry [see: narcissistic rage].
Making them more aware of the impact [their actions] ultimately have on others might—keyword, “might”—spark change.”
The study was published in the Journal of Research in Personality (Nealis et al., 2015).
The trait can make people hostile, so that depression is harder to treat.
Infidelity often has a highly corrosive effect on relationships.
Infidelity often has a highly corrosive effect on relationships.
Narcissism is one of the strongest predictors that someone will cheat in their relationship, research finds.
Narcissists are likely to be vain, egocentric and over-confident — they like to show off their bodies, talk about themselves and put other people down.
Two other personality factors that predict people’s infidelity are unstable emotions and psychopathy.
People who are unstable are unreliable, careless, badly organised and find it hard to resist temptation.
Psychopaths, meanwhile, are irresponsible, spontaneous and manipulative.
The authors write:
“One of the strongest predictors is Narcissism.
Women high on Narcissism predict that they will flirt with, kiss, and date other men, as well as have one night stands, brief affairs, and serious affairs with other men.”
The results come from a study of 107 married couples who reported on their relationships and any infidelity.
Naturally, people who were dissatisfied with their relationship were more likely to have affairs.
Similarly, couples who had many complaints about their partners were also more likely to have an affair.
Complaints that predicted adultery included alcohol abuse, eyeing up other people, jealousy, condescension and being too possessive.
After narcissism, the authors explain that…
“…two equally strong predictors of mild and serious infidelity are low Conscientiousness and high Psychoticism.
These variables are correlated, and share the common component of impulsivity and inability to delay gratification.
And like Narcissism, Conscientiousness and Psychoticism are stronger predictors of women’s anticipated infidelities than men’s anticipated infidelities.
These findings suggest that a personality style marked by impulsivity, low dependability, and low reliability in general carries over…”
Infidelity often has a highly corrosive effect on relationships, the authors write:
“Infidelity may be the most destructive source of conflict inflicted on a marriage.
Despite its destructive impact, infidelities are estimated conservatively to occur in about half of all marriages.”
The study was published in the Journal of Research in Personality (Buss & Shackleford, 1997).
How to spot a narcissist, how to tell it from high self-esteem, how the trait is related to eating disorders and how to deal with a narcissist.
How to spot a narcissist, how to tell it from high self-esteem, how the trait is related to eating disorders and how to deal with a narcissist.
Most people are at least somewhat narcissistic since, like all personality traits, narcissism exists on a continuum.
Narcissism refers to being self-centred, boastful and preoccupied with one’s own needs which, when you think about, is not all that uncommon.
From some angles, for example, high self-esteem can look like narcissism.
Indeed, researchers even find that ‘normal’ narcissism can be beneficial in some respects.
However, at the extremes, narcissism is a personality disorder that causes serious problems in personal relationships, at home and at work.
A narcissistic partner, relation or boss can be very difficult to cope with.
Here are 9 psychology studies from the members-only section of PsyBlog on the personality trait of narcissism.
(If you are not already, find out how to become a PsyBlog member here.)
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The kinds of things that narcissists buy.
The kinds of things that narcissists buy.
Narcissists tend to buy products for themselves that make them stand out, research finds.
For example, they were more likely to buy a leather case that could be personally engraved, or a ‘limited edition’ of an electronic gadget.
Exclusivity and individuality is what a narcissist is looking for in a product.
Dr Aiden Gregg, who led the study, explained:
“Narcissists seek to self-enhance.
One way to do so is by buying products for symbolic as well as material reasons — for what they mean as well as what they do.
Our early results show that narcissists’ interest in consumer products, whether bought for themselves or for others, is strongly driven by the power of those products to positively distinguish them.
Narcissists feel better about themselves because they think they have succeeded in individualising or elevating themselves.”
Across three studies people were asked to imagine buying various items.
Time after time the narcissists chose things that were exclusive or that could be personalised.
For example, narcissists showed greater interest in a shirt that could be customised.
The study also looked at the type of gifts that narcissists buy for others.
These also tended to be more exclusive, suggesting they want others around them to be special or different as well.
Dr Russell Seidle, commenting on the study, said:
“As expected, narcissistic consumers demonstrate a preference for scarce products that correspond with their views of themselves as unique individuals.
Interestingly, these same consumers show a lower tendency to critically evaluate the actual characteristics of these goods.
That is, scarcity in and of itself seems to be the main driver of their purchasing behaviour.
These findings help to shed light on the importance of the symbolic value of purchasing decisions, which for these consumers seems to outweigh even the practical usefulness of the product being bought.”
The study was published in the journal Journal of Consumer Psychology (Sedikides et al., 2007).
Although normal narcissists are self-centred, they have a psychological edge.
Although normal narcissists are self-centred, they have a psychological edge.
‘Normal’ narcissists have a mental toughness that helps them succeed, research finds.
Normal narcissists are those that are more narcissistic than average, but are not clinical narcissists.
The study of 340 Italian adolescents found that, although young narcissists were self-centred, they did better on their exams than their IQ levels suggested.
Narcissists are not cleverer, but they are more assertive and confident — this allows them to make up for deficiencies elsewhere.
Dr Kostas Papageorgiou, who led the research, said:
“Narcissism is considered as a socially malevolent trait and it is part of the Dark Triad of personality traits — narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism.
Previous studies indicate that narcissism is a growing trend in our society but this does not necessarily mean that an individual who displays high narcissistic qualities has a personality disorder.
In our research, we focused on subclinical or “normal” narcissism.
Subclinical narcissism includes some of the same features of clinical syndrome — grandiosity, entitlement, dominance, and superiority.
Dr Papageorgiou explained the traits of a narcissist:
“If you are a narcissist you believe strongly that you are better than anyone else and that you deserve reward.
Being confident in your own abilities is one of the key signs of grandiose narcissism and is also at the core of mental toughness.
If a person is mentally tough, they are likely to embrace challenges and see these as an opportunity for personal growth.”
Dr Papageorgiou believes that mental toughness is the key:
“People who score high on subclinical narcissism may be at an advantage because their heightened sense of self-worth may mean they are more motivated, assertive, and successful in certain contexts.
Previous research is our lab has shown that subclinical narcissism may increase mental toughness.
If an individual scores high on mental toughness this means they can perform at their very best in pressured and diverse situations.
We should think in a more nuanced way about narcissism, says Dr Papageorgiou:
“It is important that we reconsider how we, as a society, view narcissism.
We perceive emotions or personality traits as being either bad or good but psychological traits are the products of evolution; they are neither bad nor good — they are adaptive or maladaptive.
Perhaps we should expand conventional social morality to include and celebrate all expressions of human nature.”
The study was published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences (Papageorgiou et al., 2018).
Why narcissists are at high risk of going into a narcissistic rage and becoming very angry and violent.
Why narcissists are at high risk of going into a narcissistic rage and becoming very angry and violent.
Narcissistic rage is a real phenomenon, a study finds.
Narcissistic people have a strong inclination to be aggressive, angry and even violent.
This is true across young and old, men and women and even in different countries.
People do not have to be pathological narcissists — even ‘normal’ narcissists show an increased propensity to aggression.
Narcissists do not need to be attacked to become aggressive, however, the risk becomes higher when they are provoked by being insulted or ignored.
Unfortunately, narcissism is a risk factor for violent acts like mass shootings (Bushman, 2017).
Shooters at Columbine, Barbara and Virginia Tech all shared a sense of narcissistic rage.
This often stems from perceived slights to their fragile sense of self.
Professor Brad Bushman, study co-author, writes on his website:
“…I have come to the conclusion that the most harmful belief people can have is that they are superior to others.
When people believe they are superior to others, they behave very badly.
Every person on this planet is part of the human family; no person is more or less valuable than any other person.”
The results come from over 400 different studies including well over 100,000 people.
Ms Sophie Kjaervik, the study’s first author, said:
“The link we found between narcissism and aggression was significant — it was not trivial in size.
The findings have important real-world implications.”
Narcissists tend to be more aggressive in all kinds of ways including verbally, physically, directly and indirectly.
Ms Kjaervik said:
“Individuals who are high in narcissism are not particularly picky when it comes to how they attack others.
That’s a highly important finding now that we live in an online world.”
Almost everyone has some degree of narcissism, even if it is not pathological, said Professor Brad Bushman, study co-author:
“All of us are prone to being more aggressive when we are more narcissistic.
Our results suggest provocation is a key moderator of the link between narcissism and aggression.
Those who are high in narcissism have thin skins, and they will lash out if they feel ignored or disrespected.”
The key trait of a narcissist is an overblown sense of self-importance.
Some psychologists think that narcissists are split into two types:
Others think that genuine narcissists behave the way they do because of insecurity and not because they are full of themselves.
Grandiose narcissists, meanwhile, are better seen as a variety of psychopath.
The study was published in the journal Psychological Bulletin (Kjærvik & Bushman, 2021).
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