How To Be More Attractive To Others: The Psychology Of Attraction

Uncover the psychology behind attraction and learn how to be more attractive with these easy, scientifically proven methods.

This article explores practical, science-backed methods to enhance your attractiveness, focusing on both physical and behavioural traits.

Attractiveness is often considered subjective, with opinions varying depending on personal preferences and cultural norms. However, there are universal traits that science suggests can significantly boost one’s allure. These factors extend beyond superficial qualities and touch on behaviours, mindset, and lifestyle choices that influence how others perceive you.

Physical appearance: The first impression matters

Your physical appearance plays a significant role in attraction, but it’s not just about being conventionally beautiful. Simple adjustments in grooming, posture, and style can dramatically change how others perceive you.

Grooming and personal hygiene

First and foremost, personal grooming is one of the easiest and most effective ways to enhance attractiveness. People tend to notice well-maintained hair, skin, and nails. Cleanliness, in particular, signals good health and self-care, both of which are desirable traits.

  • Hair care: Healthy, shiny hair is often considered an indicator of vitality. Regular haircuts, keeping your hair clean, and using products suited to your hair type can improve its appearance and make you look well-groomed.
  • Skin care: Maintaining healthy, glowing skin not only makes you appear more youthful but also suggests that you take care of yourself. Simple skincare routines, including cleansing, moisturising, and using sunscreen, can make a noticeable difference.
  • Nails: Well-kept nails, whether they’re manicured or left natural, reflect attention to detail. Trimmed nails without chips or dirt can complete your polished look.

Posture and body language

How you carry yourself is just as important as how you look. Studies have shown that good posture can significantly impact how others perceive you.

Standing tall with your shoulders back and your chest open not only makes you appear more confident but also enhances your attractiveness. Poor posture, on the other hand, can make you seem insecure and less approachable.

  • Confidence through posture: Confident body language is attractive. Practicing good posture helps improve your mood and self-esteem, creating a positive feedback loop that makes you appear more appealing to others.
  • Eye contact: Making eye contact conveys interest, confidence, and attentiveness. It shows that you are engaged in the conversation and creates a deeper connection with the person you are interacting with.

Clothing: Wear what makes you feel good

It’s not about following the latest trends, but rather finding clothing that flatters your body type and boosts your confidence. When you wear something you feel comfortable and confident in, it shows. Clothing that fits well and suits your personal style can enhance your overall appearance.

  • Dress for your body: Understanding your body shape and choosing clothes that complement it can help you appear more put-together. Avoid overly tight or loose clothing, as it can affect how you are perceived.
  • Colours and patterns: The colours you wear can influence how others perceive you. Darker shades tend to give an impression of professionalism and sophistication, while lighter shades can make you appear more approachable and friendly.

Behavioural traits that increase attraction

Attractiveness isn’t solely determined by appearance. How you behave and interact with others is equally important, and certain personality traits can make you more appealing.

Kindness and empathy

One of the most universally attractive traits is kindness. People are naturally drawn to individuals who treat others with respect, empathy, and consideration.

  • Being considerate: Simple gestures of kindness, such as listening attentively or offering a helping hand, can leave a lasting impression. People appreciate those who make them feel valued and cared for.
  • Emotional intelligence: Those who can read and respond to the emotions of others are seen as more approachable and emotionally available. Being empathetic and understanding in your interactions can significantly boost your attractiveness.

Sense of humour

Humour is another key trait that can make you more appealing. Laughter is contagious, and people enjoy being around those who can make them smile. A good sense of humour shows that you don’t take life too seriously and that you can create a relaxed, enjoyable atmosphere.

  • Laugh at yourself: People who can laugh at themselves are often seen as more approachable and less arrogant. Being able to share a joke or lighten the mood can make you seem more fun and easygoing.
  • Not just about telling jokes: Humour doesn’t have to involve cracking jokes. It can also be about having a positive attitude and being able to enjoy life’s little moments with others.

Confidence and assertiveness

Confidence is an incredibly attractive quality. It doesn’t mean being boastful or arrogant, but having a sense of self-assurance and belief in your abilities. Confident people tend to draw others in because they radiate positivity and trust in themselves.

  • Assertiveness in communication: Being able to express yourself clearly and confidently can make you seem more competent and attractive. Assertiveness shows that you value your own opinions while respecting the opinions of others.
  • Avoiding overconfidence: While confidence is attractive, overconfidence can be off-putting. Balance is key—be confident but not overly so.

Inner health and lifestyle habits

Your inner health and lifestyle can also play a role in your attractiveness. Physical and mental health directly affect how you feel about yourself, which in turn influences how others perceive you.

Physical fitness

Regular physical activity not only helps you maintain a healthy body but also boosts your mood and energy levels. Exercise is known to improve circulation, which gives your skin a healthy glow and increases your overall vitality.

  • Exercise for a natural glow: Engaging in activities like yoga, running, or even walking can increase endorphins, leading to a more radiant appearance. The glow you get after a workout can make you look healthier and more energetic.
  • Balance in fitness: It’s not about having the perfect body but maintaining a healthy and active lifestyle. Regular exercise helps keep your body in shape, which can positively affect your attractiveness.

Mental clarity and well-being

Mental health is just as important as physical health when it comes to attractiveness. A positive mindset, self-esteem, and emotional well-being are crucial for radiating confidence and approachability.

  • Stress management: Being able to manage stress effectively can help you maintain a calm and composed appearance. People who are less anxious and more emotionally stable tend to be perceived as more attractive.
  • Meditation and mindfulness: Practices like meditation can help you clear your mind, reduce stress, and improve your overall outlook on life. A peaceful state of mind can make you more attractive by projecting serenity and confidence.

Conclusion: Enhancing your attractiveness from the inside out

In conclusion, attractiveness is not just about looks; it’s a combination of physical appearance, social behaviours, and inner health. By making conscious efforts to improve your grooming, posture, and style, while also cultivating kindness, empathy, and confidence, you can significantly boost your allure. Taking care of your mental and physical health will not only help you feel better about yourself but will also enhance your appeal to others.

Remember, attraction is not a one-size-fits-all concept. What works for one person might not necessarily work for another. However, by focusing on these universal aspects of attractiveness, you can increase your chances of leaving a lasting positive impression on those around you.

The Simplest Way To Make People Like You Instantly

People felt emotionally closer to strangers who did this.

People felt emotionally closer to strangers who did this.

Smiling is one of the best ways to make people instantly like you, research reveals.

However, a smile needs to be real: what psychologists call a ‘Duchenne smile’.

People are highly tuned to the Duchenne smile, which involves upturned lips and crinkly eyes.

Fake smiles are relatively easy to spot and involve only the mouth and not the eyes.

A genuine smile is a strong sign of cooperation and affiliation.

People are generally more aware of positive emotions in other people than negative.

A smile makes people feel emotionally closer to strangers.

Dr Belinda Campos, who led the research, said:

“Our findings provide new evidence of the significance of positive emotions in social settings and highlight the role that positive emotions display in the development of new social connections.

People are highly attuned to the positive emotions of others and can be more attuned to others’ positive emotions than negative emotions.”

For the study, participants watched a video of people interacting and showing both positive and negative emotions.

The results showed that positive emotions are particularly powerful in drawing strangers together.

People felt emotionally closer to strangers who showed positive emotions.

The positive emotion that was particularly attractive was awe.

The study was published in the journal Motivation and Emotion (Campos et al., 2015).

Do People Really Know How Attractive They Are? (M)

Physical attractiveness is important for those choosing a partner followed by similarity, familiarity and being liked back.

Physical attractiveness is important for those choosing a partner followed by similarity, familiarity and being liked back.

Keep reading with a Membership

• Read members-only articles
• Adverts removed
• Cancel at any time
• 14 day money-back guarantee for new members

What Sexy People Do To Your Intelligence

The effect of hot people on your cognitive abilities, revealed by research.

The effect of hot people on your cognitive abilities, revealed by research.

People become cognitively impaired in the presence of an attractive member of the opposite sex, research finds.

The drop in intelligence is particularly strong for men.

The more attractive the woman, the more men’s test scores plummeted, psychologists found.

It may be because men are so concerned about making a good impression that they have few mental resources left over for anything else.

The study involved people talking to members of the opposite sex before completing cognitive tests.

Both sexes performed worse on the tests when they were trying to make a good impression on the other person.

It made no difference whether or not they were already in a relationship or single.

However, men were more often struggling to make a good impression, so their cognitive powers weakened the most.

Impression management is no easy task for the human brain, as the authors explain:

“…leaving a favorable impression on an opposite-sex partner may not always be easy.

Impression management requires careful monitoring and modifying of one’s own behavior to optimize the overall impression an individual wants make on the interaction partner, making it an effortful and cognitively demanding endeavor.

Research by Vohs and colleagues (2005) suggests that impression management indeed generally requires relatively high levels of cognitive control.”

The study was inspired by an experience of one of the study’s authors:

“Some time ago, one of the male authors was chatting with a very attractive girl he had not met before.

While he was anxious to make a good impression, when she asked him where he lived, he suddenly could not remember his street address.

It seemed as if his impression management concerns had temporarily absorbed most of his cognitive resources.”

The study was published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology (Karremans et al., 2009).

The Secret To Instant Attraction: Are You A Super Synchroniser? (M)

Why some people automatically ‘click’ better than others: it’s more subtle than looks, appearance or status.

Why some people automatically 'click' better than others: it's more subtle than looks, appearance or status.

Keep reading with a Membership

• Read members-only articles
• Adverts removed
• Cancel at any time
• 14 day money-back guarantee for new members

The Top Four Characteristics People Crave In A Partner

People ranked the most desirable characteristics in a partner for the survey.

People ranked the most desirable characteristics in a partner for the survey.

The four traits people look for in a partner are kindness, easygoingness, intelligence and physical attractiveness, research finds.

In a twist on these familiar findings, though, people can have too much of some these traits, the psychologists also found.

People who are too intelligent and too easy-going are less attractive.

It may be because intelligence can make other people insecure and being too easy-going might be a bad sign.

Dr Gilles Gignac, the study’s first author, explained:

“Previously published research suggests that elevated levels of intelligence may incite feelings of insecurity in some people, which may reduce desirability.

Correspondingly, exceptional easygoingness may be viewed as an indication of a lack of confidence or ambition.”

The conclusions come from a survey of 383 people in Australia.

They were asked to rank the most desirable characteristics in a partner.

Once a potential partner was in the top 10 percent for IQ or easygoingness, they became less attractive.

However, being in the top 10 percent for physical attractiveness and kindness was not detrimental, although desirability ratings did not increase at this level.

Dr Gignac said:

“So, on average, there doesn’t appear to be any gain to being exceptionally kind or exceptionally physically attractive in the context of attracting a romantic partner.”

A minority of people are especially interested in the highly intelligent, the research showed.

However, the research could not pinpoint what type of people these were.

It certainly wasn’t more intelligent people who preferred other more intelligent people — which is what you would expect.

Dr Gignac said:

“This result is surprising, considering there is assortative mating for intelligence that indicates a correlation between people in a romantic relationship having similar intelligence levels.”

The study was published in the British Journal of Psychology (Gignac & Starbuck, 2018).

A Surprising Way To Tell If Someone Is Attracted To You

Both sexes unconsciously do the same thing when they meet someone they are attracted to.

Both sexes unconsciously do the same thing when they meet someone they are attracted to.

Both men and women unconsciously lower their voices when they are attracted to someone, research finds.

Men, in particular, keep their voices low to indicate their interest.

Surprisingly, women also lower their voices when speaking to the most attractive men.

For the study, 30 speed daters met in a café, half men, half women.

The researchers monitored voice pitch and asked everyone who they were attracted to.

The study’s authors explain that men lowered their voice when attracted to a woman:

“…men lowered the minimum pitch of their voices when interacting with women who were overall highly desired by other men.

Men also lowered their mean voice pitch on dates with women they selected as potential mates, particularly those who indicated a mutual preference (matches).

Women also lowered their voice when attracted to a man:

“…although women spoke with a higher and more variable voice pitch toward men they selected as potential mates, women lowered both voice pitch parameters toward men who were most desired by other women and whom they also personally preferred.”

Women, though, were more discerning in their choice: only lowering their voice for the most attractive men.

The study was published in the journal The Royal Society Proceedings B (Pisanski et al., 2018).

How Your Life’s Purpose Can Make You More Attractive (M)

Could a clear sense of direction in life make you more appealing to potential partners?

Could a clear sense of direction in life make you more appealing to potential partners?

Keep reading with a Membership

• Read members-only articles
• Adverts removed
• Cancel at any time
• 14 day money-back guarantee for new members

Get free email updates

Join the free PsyBlog mailing list. No spam, ever.