Category: Relationships

How income affects whether people cheat on their partner.

People who earn less than their partner are more likely to cheat on them than those earning equal amounts, a study concludes.

Men may be more tempted to cheat in this situation because they feel threatened by their partner’s income.

However, men earning much more than their female partner are also more likely to cheat than those earning equal amounts.

Similarly, women were more likely to cheat when dependent on their partner — although not if they earned more.

Explaining the findings, Dr Christin Munsch, the study’s author, said:

“At one end of the spectrum, making less money than a female partner may threaten men’s gender identity by calling into question the traditional notion of men as breadwinners.

At the other end of the spectrum, men who make a lot more money than their partners may be in jobs that offer more opportunities for cheating like long work hours, travel, and higher incomes that make cheating easier to conceal.”

The conclusions come from a study of 18- to 28-year-old married and cohabiting couples.

All had been married for at least one year.

The results showed that men whose income is either significantly higher or lower than than their female partner are more likely to cheat on them.

Men who were most faithful generally had partners who earned around 75% of their own income.

In the six month period of the study, 3.8% of men reported cheating on their partner, while 1.4% of women reported cheating.

Women who earned more than their partners, though, were actually less likely to cheat on them.

The study was published in the journal American Sociological Review (Munsch et al., 2015).

Both personality and relationship history were important in whether people cheated on their partner.

Feeling detached from their partner and having low satisfaction with the relationship are among people’s top reasons for cheating, a study shows.

Availability of another suitable partner is also a crucial predictor of whether people cheat or not.

Factors that surprisingly did not have much impact were relationship commitment and length, the University of Queensland study found.

Both personality factors and relationship history were also important in whether people cheated on their partner.

People who are more impulsive were more likely to cheat.

Impulsive people tend to act on their immediate thoughts and emotions without thinking about the consequences.

Cheating was also more likely by people who had had more sexual partners.

The conclusions come from a survey of 123 heterosexual people aged 17 to 25, all of whom were currently in a relationship.

Among many questions, they were asked whether they had cheated by kissing or having sex outside the relationship.

The study’s authors found…

“…quality of alternatives to be the strongest predictor of both extradyadic sex inclination and extradyadic kissing inclination, suggesting that it may be a key determinant of individuals’ inclination to engage in extradyadic activities.”

Those who have had more sexual partners in the past may be more inclined to cheat because they have learned the ‘trick’ of seduction.

The authors write:

“Participants who had experienced sexual intimacy with a greater number of partners also reported greater extradyadic sex and extradyadic kissing inclination.

This inclination may be attributable to the individuals’ skills at recognizing sexual advances or recruitment of sex partners.”

Finally, men were more likely to cheat by having sex outside the relationship.

However, both men and women were equally likely to cheat by kissing outside their relationship.

The study was published in the British Journal of Psychology (McAlister et al., 2005).

The skill helps build stronger relationships and even contributes to better long-term health.

Listening from the heart can improve relationships, research finds.

Clear and explicit support helps to reduce tension and stress levels and improve the other person’s emotional state.

This helps build stronger relationships and even contributes to better long-term health.

Here are three tips for providing supportive communication:

• Acknowledging the person is under stress

While the situation might not seem stressful to you, remember that people are different.

Acknowledge that your partner requires comforting.

• Use verbal and nonverbal forms of communication

Listening and asking questions, using eye contact and touching can all help reduce stress levels.

• Provide emotional support

Unless someone asks for advice, do not offer it.

Instead, focus on providing emotional support.

This just involves listening and asking questions so you understand the problem.

Professor Jennifer Priem, who led the research, said:

“The fastest stress recovery comes from explicit messages.

When a partner is stressed they are unable to focus on interpreting messages well.

Clarity and eye contact help.”

One of the classic mistakes people make is to dismiss their partner’s stress, Professor Priem said:

“If your partner is feeling stressed, telling him or her ‘don’t worry about it’ or trying to distract the person from the stress by changing the subject is generally not going to help.”

The conclusions come from a study in which 103 people did stressful tasks while being supported by their dating partner.

Levels of the ‘stress hormone’ cortisol, along with ratings by trained observers, helped assess the type of supportive communication that was effective.

It emerged that really supportive communication helped lower cortisol levels.

Other research has shown that this can help improve sleep, reduce headaches and even benefit the heart.

Professor Priem said:

“Cookie cutter support messages don’t really work.

Stress creates a frame through which messages are interpreted.

Support that is clear and explicit in validating feelings and showing interest and concern is most likely to lower cortisol levels and increase feelings of wellbeing and safety.

If you aren’t seeing improvement in your partner’s anxiety, you may need to change your approach.”

The study was published in the journal Communication Research (Priem et al., 2015).

This activity causes untold relationship distress.

Sharing out the dishwashing duties more fairly could be one of the best ways to improve a relationship, new research suggests.

Out of all household chores, (not) doing the dishes is the most likely to damage a relationship.

Women in heterosexual relationships who did more dishes than their partners reported:

• Lower relationship satisfaction,
• more relationship conflict,
• and worse and less sex.

The study looked at different household tasks including shopping, cleaning and laundry.

It revealed that there is something particularly irritating about doing the dishes.

Dr Dan Carlson, who led the study, thinks it is because dishwashing is a thankless task, unlike cooking which attracts praise.

Also, it is yucky.

Men improving, but…

Men are picking up some of the slack in the household chores department, research has found.

Between 1999 and 2006 the couples who shared dishwashing duty rose from 16% to 29%.

Per week, men now do 4 hours of housework compared with two in 1965.

Still way off a perfect score for men, but an improving trend.

The study’s authors write:

“Contrary to arguments of a stalled gender revolution, the authors find that contemporary couples more often share all routine tasks (other than shopping) than couples in the past, with the greatest change in dishwashing and laundry.

The equal sharing of housework is more positively related to sexual intimacy and relationship satisfaction among more recent cohorts and more negatively related to marital discord.”

Of course, men will argue that their share is done in other areas, like lawn mowing, car cleaning and DIY.

However, men still avoid the least desirable jobs, like cleaning the toilet and the laundry.

Naturally, this can create resentment — especially when other couples are seen to share out the work more equally.

The study was published in the journal Socius (Carlson et al., 2018).

The type of car that is more attractive to women.

Men with flashy cars are seen by others as being more interested in short-term sexual relationships, new research finds.

Indeed, women interested in a short-term relationship also found men with flashy cars more attractive.

However, people did not think a man with a flashy car would make a good life partner.

Instead, those looking long-term preferred someone with more  sensible taste — presumably so he’s got money left over for the family.

Dr Daniel Kruger, study co-author, said:

“Participants demonstrated an intuitive understanding that men investing in the display of goods featuring exaggerated sensory properties have reproductive strategies with higher mating effort and greater interest in short-term sexual relationships, as well as lower paternal investment and interest in long-term committed romantic relationships than men investing in practical considerations.”

For the study, both men and women read descriptions of two men purchasing a new car.

The authors explain:

“One man purchased a new car for the sake of reliability (frugal investment); the other purchased a used car and allocated the remaining funds to conspicuous display features (new paint, larger wheels, louder sound system).”

And the results:

“Participants rated the man who invested in flashy display higher on mating effort, lower on parental investment, higher on interest in brief sexual affairs, lower on interest in long-term committed romantic relationships, higher in attractiveness to women for brief sexual affairs, and lower in attractiveness to women for long-term committed romantic relationships, compared to the man with a frugal investment strategy.”

Generally, men prefer to show off their money more than women.

However, showing off your spending power is not always the best policy.

Sometimes it is better to show off your prudence — depending on the signal you want to send.

The study was published in the journal Evolutionary Psychological Science (Kruger & Kruger, 2018).

How tight is your grip on marriage?

Men with a stronger grip are more likely to be married than men with a weaker grip, new research finds.

The reason is probably that grip strength is a signal of cardiovascular health and even brain health.

Grip strength, though, was not linked to whether or not women were married.

Professor Vegard Skirbekk, the study’s first author, said:

“Our results hint that women may be favoring partners who signal strength and vigor when they marry.

If longer-lived women marry healthier men, then both may avoid or defer the role of caregiver, while less healthy men remain unmarried and must look elsewhere for assistance.”

The researchers analysed data from 5,009 adults in the Norwegian city of Tromsø.

They analysed two groups of people born in the periods 1923-35 and 1936-48.

The results showed there were more unmarried men with weaker grip strength in the younger group of men.

This reflects the lessening importance of marriage, especially in a socially progressive Scandinavian country like Norway.

Professor Skirbekk said:

“In recent decades, women are less dependent on men economically.

At the same time, men have a growing ‘health dependence’ on women.

The fact that many men are alone with a weak grip — a double burden for these men who lack both strength and a lack of support that comes from being married — suggests that more attention needs to be given to this group, particularly given their relatively poor health.”

Professor Skirbekk continued:

“New technologies may potentially offset some of the limitations that low grip strength may imply.

Social policies could also increasingly target this group by providing financial support for those who suffer the double-burden of low strength and lack of spousal support.”

The study was published in the journal SSM-Population Health (Skirbekk et al., 2018).