Category: Narcissism

How to tell the difference between a narcissist and someone with high self-esteem.

Criticism makes narcissists aggressive, research finds.

But people with high self-esteem are not particularly bothered by criticism.

This is because, at heart, narcissists often have a strange relationship with their self-esteem, so they hate to be criticised.

Any criticism will usually make them aggressive in response [see: narcissistic rage].

Psychologists measured the self-esteem, narcissism and aggressive behaviour of 540 undergraduate students.

They found that the more narcissistic students tended to verbally lash out more when they were criticised.

The study’s authors write:

“Narcissists mainly want to punish or defeat someone who has threatened their highly favorable views of themselves.

People who are preoccupied with validating a grandiose self-image apparently find criticism highly upsetting and lash out against the source of it.”

People who had high self-esteem did not become more aggressive towards those who criticised them.

Narcissists, meanwhile, find the threat to their ego too great.

The seeds of narcissism can be sown at a young age, said Professor Brad J. Bushman, the study’s first author:

“…if kids begin to develop unrealistically optimistic opinions of themselves and those beliefs are constantly rejected by others, their feelings of self-love could make these kids potentially dangerous to those around them.”

If provoking the narcissist sounds dangerous, then another method of identifying the narcissist is simply to ask them.

Professor Bushman, speaking about a previous study, explained:

“People who are willing to admit they are more narcissistic than others probably actually are more narcissistic.

People who are narcissists are almost proud of the fact.

You can ask them directly because they don’t see narcissism as a negative quality — they believe they are superior to other people and are fine with saying that publicly.”

The study was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Bushman & Baumeister, 1998).

Lack of this emotion helps identifies a certain type of narcissist.

Many narcissist do not feel much envy, research finds.

This is because grandiose narcissists have an inflated sense of superiority.

Dr Zlatan Krizan, the study’s lead author, said:

“They really buy into their own fantasy.

If you think you’re the greatest, it makes sense that you wouldn’t envy others because everybody is beneath you, so there’s nothing to envy.

It’s really the vulnerability that predicts envy and it predicts it very, very strongly.”

The conclusion comes from a survey of over 350 people asked about their feelings of envy, self-esteem, anxiety and depression.

Two types of narcissism emerged from their work:

• Grandiose narcissism: having an overinflated sense of one’s importance.
• Vulnerable narcissism: this is linked to more anxiety and depression.

Dr Krizan said:

“Narcissism is a more multi-faceted construct than we believe.

I think that’s an important point, because this public image of narcissism that most people have of this grandiose, dramatic individual is only one side of the coin.”

The vulnerable side of narcissism was also linked to lower self-esteem

Dr Krizan said:

“These individuals still think they’re special, entitled, and they want to be great, but they just can’t do it.

As a result they’re vulnerable, their self-esteem fluctuates a lot, they tend to be self-conscious and not very proactive, but passive, shy, and introverted.”

Vulnerable narcissists could potentially be more dangerous, Dr Krizan said:

“It’s these vulnerable individuals who are in some sense more worrisome because they are quiet, sort of festering in anger out there in a corner.

And it’s just a matter of time before they get frustrated and lash out and verbally assault somebody, maybe even an innocent party, because of some provocation that they felt.”

Dr Krizan said that narcissism and envy were possible motivations for the Columbine school shootings in 1999:

“If you look at evidence that is often left over, in Columbine for example you had those videos, these shooting escapades seem to be a kind of power grab by these individuals.

The tapes are also narratives, in which they are the person taking control, they’re the one in charge and they will determine how things will go.”

The study was published in the Journal of Personality (Krizan & Johar, 2012).

Narcissists people prefer countries to be run by the military or strong leaders.

Narcissists are not fans of democracy, research finds.

People with narcissistic self-views prefer countries to be run by the military or strong leaders.

Narcissists think that democratically elected governments are not good at maintaining order.

The results of the study are probably explained by the fact that narcissists do not tolerate views that differ from their own.

As the study’s title has it, narcissists believe that: “It’s my way or the highway.”

People with high self-esteem, though, tend to support democracies.

The study’s authors write:

“Narcissists have high feelings of self-worth, but tend to be defensive: They are easily threatened by criticisms or conflicting views.”

In contrast, non-narcissists tend to be willing to trust others and have higher self-esteem.

The conclusions come from surveys of 407 people in the US and 405 in Poland.

The results of both found that people with high self-esteem tended to support democracies.

Narcissists, though, who often have low self-esteem, did not generally support democracy.

Dr Aleksandra Cichocka, study co-author, said:

“The jury is out on whether the new generations are becoming more narcissistic than previous ones, but it is important to monitor how societal changes can affect the self.

We need to make sure we are not fostering feelings of entitlement or expectations of special treatment.

In the end, these processes may have important implications for our social and political attitudes.”

The study was published in the British Journal of Social Psychology (Marchlewska et al., 2018).