Category: Narcissism

“They’re thinking really negative, hostile, critical things about other people.”

Narcissistic perfectionists — like the late Steve Jobs — are arguably the worst type of narcissists.

They are grandiose, see themselves as special, have a high sense of entitlement and extremely high expectations of others.

Plus, they love to criticise.

Logan Nealis, the study’s first author, said:

“A narcissistic perfectionist parent demands perfect performance from his daughter on the hockey rink, but not necessarily from anyone else out there.

They’re getting a sense of vitality or self-esteem through the perfect performance of other people, and they bask in that glow vicariously.”

For the research, students were asked to keep 28-day diaries.

The results revealed that narcissistic perfectionists were socially toxic.

Dr Simon Sherry, study co-author, said:

“Our most consistent finding across the two studies is that narcissistic perfectionism is associated with social negativity in the form of anger, derogation, conflict and hostility.”

Dr Sherry continued:

“When you look at what appears to be happening between the ears of a narcissistic perfectionist, you see they’re thinking really negative, hostile, critical things about other people.

They maintain this superior sense of themselves: ‘I’m perfect, I’m awesome, and you’re not so you’re defective.”

The study’s authors analyse the biographies of famous narcissistic perfectionists, include former Apple CEO, Steve Jobs:

“According to one biography, [Jobs] expected perfection from others in an entitled, demanding, and hyper-critical manner.

Employees reported going from ‘hero to zero’ in Jobs’ estimation after even minor mistakes; employees also noted Jobs routinely derogated them in front of co-workers.”

Logan Nealis said:

“If you have high expectations of someone, that may well be a positive thing—if it’s paired with a warm, nurturing interpersonal style.

But high expectations paired with feelings of grandiosity and entitlement to the perfect performance of others creates a much more negative combination.”

Dr Sherry continued:

“We may be characterizing a problem of our times.

It may very well be that we live in an age of entitlement where grandiose demands are often made in everyday life.

Narcissistic perfectionists have a need for other people to satisfy their unreasonable expectations… And if you don’t, they get angry [see: narcissistic rage].

Making them more aware of the impact [their actions] ultimately have on others might—keyword, “might”—spark change.”

The study was published in the Journal of Research in Personality (Nealis et al., 2015).

How to spot a narcissist, how to tell it from high self-esteem, how the trait is related to eating disorders and how to deal with a narcissist.

Most people are at least somewhat narcissistic since, like all personality traits, narcissism exists on a continuum.

Narcissism refers to being self-centred, boastful and preoccupied with one’s own needs which, when you think about, is not all that uncommon.

From some angles, for example, high self-esteem can look like narcissism.

Indeed, researchers even find that ‘normal’ narcissism can be beneficial in some respects.

However, at the extremes, narcissism is a personality disorder that causes serious problems in personal relationships, at home and at work.

A narcissistic partner, relation or boss can be very difficult to cope with.

Here are 9 psychology studies from the members-only section of PsyBlog on the personality trait of narcissism.

(If you are not already, find out how to become a PsyBlog member here.)

1. How To Deal With A Narcissist
2. A Fascinating Sign of ‘Normal’ Narcissism
3. The Type Of Narcissism Linked To Eating Disorders
4. How To Spot A Narcissistic Leader
5. This Selfish Personality Trait Fades With Age
6. A Sign That You Are Dealing With A Narcissist
7. How To Distinguish Narcissism From High Self-Esteem
8. The Trick Questions That Reveal A Narcissist
9. 3 Signs Of A Grandiose Narcissist

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One personality types has a very strong link to infidelity.

Narcissists are the personality type most likely to steal another person’s partner, research finds.

Signs of a narcissist include that they are selfish, arrogant and extraverted.

Believing they are special and thinking themselves more important than others means they do not care if someone already has a partner.

Narcissistic types typically experience less guilt than others and so have less of a problem taking advantage.

Typical questions that identify a narcissist include strongly agreeing with the statement “I think I am a special person.”

Dr Amy Brunell, the study’s first author, said:

“They seem to not discriminate between those in relationships and those who are single.

It could be that they just go after whoever appeals to them without regard for relationship status.”

Personality type and infidelity study

The conclusions come from a survey of 247 young adults.

The results showed that people of a more narcissistic type were more likely to have relationships with those who already had partners.

A couple of follow-up studies suggested that narcissists do not specifically target people in relationships.

In other words, narcissist types ignore the fact of whether someone is single or not.

Dr Brunell said:

“It is likely people are simply interested in the target and not necessarily as concerned that the target is in a relationship.”

Other personality factors that predict being unfaithful are psychopathy and unstable emotions.

Psychopaths tend to be spontaneous, irresponsible and manipulative.

Emotional instability is linked to being badly organised, careless and unreliable.

Dr Brunell concluded:

“Understanding the behavior of narcissists is important because it helps us better understand the people who are in our lives — and the types of people we don’t necessarily want in our lives.”

The study was published in the journal PLOS ONE (Brunell et al., 2018).

How parents raise narcissistic children.

A permissive upbringing is one way parents raise narcissistic children, research finds.

Two other important factors are lack of affection from parents and exposure to violence in the home.

The conclusions come from a Spanish study of 591 adolescents.

Narcissistic children were likely to be aggressive towards parents when they didn’t get what they wanted.

Dr Esther Calvete, the study’s first author, said:

“On occasions adolescents assault their parents because the parents themselves have been violent towards the children or among themselves.

Through exposure to family violence, children learn to be violent.

Other times, it is the lack of affectionate and positive communication between parents and their children, the lack of quality time that is dedicated to the children, or permissive parenting styles that do not impose limits.”

Dr Calvete explained how narcissism fits into the picture:

“In some cases we can observe that element of narcissism: it concerns adolescents who feel that they should have everything that they want, right here and now.

They don’t take no for an answer.

When their parents try to establish limits, the children react aggressively.”

The researchers interviewed 591 adolescents and analysed the relationship between narcissism and aggression [see: narcissistic rage].

Education and upbringing are key to curbing these problems, Dr Calvete said:

“If the parents do not raise their children with a sense of responsibility and respect, it is easy for the children to develop problems of aggressive behaviour.

If the parents were violent when the children were small, it increases the risk of aggressive behaviour in children.

But the behaviour displayed by fathers and mothers is not the only element.

The temperament of the children is another important component, and some boys and girls are more impulsive and learn violent behaviour more easily,”

The study’s authors share one email they received from a worried mother about her aggressive son.

She wrote:

“Our son sees himself as above everything.

The other night I told him that he should stop looking at himself in the mirror, that he looked good.

And he hit the roof.

His father later told him that he had no right to talk to me in that manner.

But my son has become more and more verbally aggressive, and the situation has deteriorated into violence.

He hit my husband, who is recovering from bruised ribs and a broken jaw.

The problem is that he continues to think that he is right.

According to him, it’s he who feels threatened,”

Narcissism is at the root of these problems, the researchers say, and treatment should be directed at reducing it.

The study was published in the journal Developmental Psychology (Calvete et al., 2015).

Research reveals if society is becoming more narcissistic. Narcissism refers to excessive levels of superiority, self-love and self-centredness.

Modern Western society increases narcissism, research finds.

It could help to explain why — as some people think — society is becoming more narcissistic.

Narcissism refers to excessive levels of superiority, self-love and self-centredness.

The study compared people born and brought up in East and West Germany.

Higher levels of narcissism were found in people who grew up in the western states of Germany.

Professor Stefan Röpke, who led the study, said:

“Contemporary western societies promote narcissism.

People who grew up on the western side of the former East-West border or West-Berlin had higher levels of narcissism than those who spent their childhood in the former German Democratic Republic.

In our study, this was shown to primarily apply to ‘grandiose narcissism’, a type of narcissism that is characterized by an exaggerated sense of superiority.”

Is society becoming more narcissistic?

The study’s conclusions came from a survey of over 1,000 people born in both the Federal Republic of Germany and the former German Democratic Republic.

The largest differences in narcissism between east and west society were seen for those aged 6-18 at the time of the fall of the Berlin Wall.

For self-esteem, the researchers found the opposite: people who grew up in eastern societies had higher self-esteem

Dr Aline Vater, the study’s first author, said:

“No difference can be found within the younger generation — people who had either not been born at the time of the Fall of the Berlin Wall, or had not yet reached school-age, and who therefore grew up within the same western society.

In this group, the levels of narcissism and self-esteem recorded are the same for respondents from both the former East and West Germany.”

Professor Röpke concluded:

“Overall, our results suggest that levels of narcissism and self-esteem are influenced by societal factors.

Western societies appear to promote increased levels of narcissism among their citizens.”

The study was published in the journal PLOS ONE (Vater et al., 2018).

Is there really a ‘narcissism epidemic’ or is this not really the ‘age of narcissism’?

People are at their most narcissistic when they are college-age, research shows.

Then, people’s narcissism slowly reduces over the years, on average.

Professor Brent Roberts, who led the research, said:

“The average college student scores 15 to 16 on the NPI scale, out of a possible 40.

The average grandparent scores about 12.

Based on that, if you use that as a natural metric, most people are not narcissists.

And, perhaps most interestingly, narcissism declines with age.”

A narcissism epidemic?

The study found no evidence that there is a ‘narcissism epidemic’ among young people.

In fact, young people are slightly less narcissistic than they were twenty years ago.

Professor Roberts thinks this is just older people misremembering how brash they were at that age, and how they have calmed down over the years:

“We have faulty memories, so we don’t remember that we were rather self-centered when we were that age.”

Both millennials and younger generations are frequently portrayed as having poor character traits or of being part of a narcissism epidemic.

However, Professor Roberts said:

“But that’s just wrong.

The kids are all right.

There never was a narcissism epidemic, despite what has been claimed.”

Not the ‘age of narcissism’ at all

The conclusions come from a survey of 1,166 students compared with tens of thousands of students surveyed in the 2000s and in the 2010s.

They all completed the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, the NPI.

This involves choosing between 40 pairs of statements.

For example, here is one:

• I just want to be reasonably happy.
• I want to amount to something in the eyes of the world.

The second is more consistent with a narcissistic view of the the self.

The study found that whether male or female, White, African-American or Caucasian, people’s narcissism shows a slow but steady decline with age.

Professor Roberts said:

“For the most part, the measure worked pretty well, but we found a few items that didn’t work consistently across different groups.

When you adjust for that, you see decreases in narcissism from the 1990s to the 2000s to the 2010s.”

So, there you have it: there is no narcissism epidemic, nor is this the age of narcissism.

The study was published in the journal Psychological Science (Wetzelet al., 2017).

Study of 2,200 people finds that just one question will reveal the true egomaniac.

At first narcissist look better, sound more confident, have trendier haircuts and are funnier.

But soon they become a pain.

So how can you easily identify a narcissist before you get in too deep? The answer is: you just ask them.

Frequently psychologists have used a questionnaire with 40 items called the Narcissistic Personality Inventory.

One study shows, though, that you can identify narcissists almost as accurately using just one question (Bushman et al., 2014).

In the study of 2,200 people of all ages, people were asked one simple question, including the part in brackets:

“To what extent do you agree with this statement: “I am a narcissist.” (Note: The word “narcissist” means egotistical, self-focused, and vain.)”

People rated themselves on a scale of 1 to 7 where 1 is “not very true of me” and 7 is “very true of me”.

The results were pretty close to other measures of narcissism, which all require more questions.

It probably works so well because of the very nature of narcissism itself.

Brad Bushman, first author of the study, explains:

“People who are willing to admit they are more narcissistic than others probably actually are more narcissistic.

People who are narcissists are almost proud of the fact. You can ask them directly because they don’t see narcissism as a negative quality — they believe they are superior to other people and are fine with saying that publicly.”

The narcissist problem

While narcissists seem attractive at first, their personalities can be toxic in the long-run because they have little concern for the feelings of others.

Bushman continued:

“Overall, narcissism is problematic for both individuals and society. Those who think they are already great don’t try to improve themselves.

“And narcissism is bad for society because people who are only thinking of themselves and their own interests are less helpful to others.”

Why not try out the narcissist question on those around you right now and see what results you get?

You might be surprised how many people admit to being narcissists.

→ Read on: One recent study suggested this method for how to get a narcissist to feel empathy.

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