The Nonverbal Symphony of Attraction
[Photo by hendriko]
Glossy magazine articles on the body language of attraction often quote two vital nonverbal factors: posture mirroring and movement echo. The first is where the other person has adopted the same position as you and the second is where they copy your movement. While they both play a role, research suggests it's not in fact the individual movements, but the patterns of movements that tell the story of attraction between two people.In a study of nonverbal behaviour, Grammer, Kruck and Magnusson (1998) analysed videos of people meeting for the first time. Interactions were videotaped from behind a one-way screen and participants were asked afterwards how likely they would be to go on a date with the person they'd met.
The videos were analysed by categorising movements of the head, shoulders, arms, hands, trunk and legs. This information was then run through software to search for patterns. Overall, around 4,000 patterns of nonverbal behaviour were analysed.
Results
Contrary to many previous findings, attraction was predicted by patterns of synchronisation and not simple mirroring of body language. What emerged were rhythmic structures of movement synchrony - patterns of bodily movement people adopted. In common with previous research, Grammer et al. (1998) found it was women who tended to start and control these patterns. Indeed, the more interested a woman was in a man, the more complicated these patterns became.
Effectively, then, potential couples test their compatibility nonverbally by constructing symphonies of body language, with women as conductors. Considering the complexity of this description, it's clear why 'movement synchrony' never makes it to the glossies, although it's probably much closer to the truth of how nonverbal attraction is negotiated.
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4 comments
I think the studies were conclusive, that most men are followers and don't know what women want. The percentage of men that lead and know what they want are rare enough not to effect the conclusion.
Hi John, certainly this one showed that men tended to follow women's lead. Although the participants in this study were around 18 years old - so difficult to generalise to other age groups here.
john, it's not that men don't know what they want...men know they want sex. So they (we) just happy to follow women's lead to get there.
It is behavior that is prevalent to most all animals. The female calls and the male responds. Look at it this way, a male dog, sits around, sleeps, eats, and sleeps some more and when a female dog (a bitch) in heat is present, the male dog suddenly has purpose and he is off and running miles, jumping fences, to get to that female in heat. Nothing will stop him until he mates with the female.
What makes humans different from the rest of the other animals is the ability to sex at will (without being in heat) although that doesn't change how males behave. If a women wants a man, he has little say in the situation. The best way for a man to get a woman is to be enthusiastic prey.
Women go through two (heat) cycles a month, they ovulate, (that is when their call is strongest) and they menstruate (still strong but not as strong as the first) each emitting pheromones which men gravitate towards.
Most women aren't willing to admit, or are even aware of this basic phenomenon and that is why men think they don't know what they want. It's possible woman aren't aware or they are actually keeping men uninformed of this because if they knew the truth, then their cover is blown. That is why men think women don't know what they want. So men, now you know, and your best approach is like I said earlier, be enthusiastic prey. The worst thing you could do is to come from a place of desperation. That will drive a woman away faster than you can spit. It's your willingness, enthusiasm and attention that will grab her attention. A woman wants nothing more than to be swept off her feet.