College Binge Drinking ‘Seriously Kicks Ass’
A wry smile, courtesy of The Onion:
"Data collected at bars and fraternity parties on the UMass campus has yielded unexpected conclusions with regard to the practice of binge drinking," study head Dr. Albert Greaves said. "Over the course of our research, a consistent pattern emerged demonstrating that binge drinking seriously kicks ass.""There was this one bar called The Depot, where they serve beer in these humongous three-foot glasses that are like giant boots," Greaves continued. "You have to stand back and tilt the thing to drink it all. Our team conducted an experiment to see who could finish one off the fastest. Myself, Dr. Milton Laurian and these eight 20-year-old test subjects lined up against a wall and started chugging away. After completing the test and subsequently throwing up all over the place, I could only conclude that downing huge-ass boot beers is really awesome."
Now read on (via The Language Log).
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Binge drinking and big vomitting to seriously have a great time. Sounds like the emotion of hate (feels like upchucking) long ignorerd finally getting relief from the extreme sport. Hate is viewed as one of the five "super transformers" of life, according to Dr. Sharon Gerstenzang, author of a Unified Theory of Emotion. Hate is needed to get rid of wrong patterns, wrong perceptions, wrong habits. But it is often reviled because of wrong actions taken because of it and lack of understanding of right actions that are available once the emotion is handled well.
I love the Onion. Few other places can take serious issues (like college binge drinking) and just flip them backwards. Who didn't drink a 3' beer while in college? I'm happy that they didn't go up to 6', b/c that would have been a binge. True, college alcoholism treatment isn't where it needs to be at all, but that is changing as schools become more aware.