Empathy Causes Facial Similarity Between Couples to Increase Over Time
Would you believe that people who live with each other for 25 years actually develop similar facial features? I don't just mean that people tend to choose partners who resemble them, rather that over time together couple's features actually converge. It's weird, but there's evidence for it from a singular study carried out by the noted psychologist Robert Zajonc and colleagues.
Here's what they did.
110 participants were shown photographs of men and women in their first year of marriage and of the same couples after 25 years of marriage. Then they were asked to judge their resemblance along with the chance that any man and woman were married to each other. The researchers went to a lot of effort to remove extraneous info and crop photos so that only faces could be seen.
The types of choices the participants made indicated the perception was that couples became more facially similar after 25 years together. The results could not be explained by people simply all looking the same as they got older. Also, data from a control group indicated participants were indeed making judgements on the basis of facial features rather than any other criteria.
So this means if you stick around with your partner, you'll end up looking more like them after a couple of decades. Which naturally raises the question: why?
Here are the possible explanations the authors suggest:
1. Diet. If you share your diet with another person it's possible this is the cause. For example if both partners eat a high fat diet, both their faces will tend to look chubby. The authors, however, ruled this out using an additional small study.
2. Environment. It could be that it's because couples live together in the same area. This means that environmental factors such as sunshine and so on affect the skin in similar ways. The authors rule this one out as well because all their married couples came from the same part of the US Midwest and were matched on a number of other socioeconomic variables.
3. Predisposition. This is the idea that people are more likely to choose partners who will grow to look like them. E.g. depressed people are attracted to each other, so end up looking depressed. The authors give this one a maybe, although it is not their favourite option.
4. Empathy. This is the theory the authors like - and so do I. People grow to look similar because they are empathising with each other and so copying each other's facial expressions. Over time because of all the empathising they are doing, their faces come to look more similar. For example, if one partner often smiles in a particular way, the other is likely to copy it - so creating similar patterns of wrinkles and furrows on the face.
Because they liked theory number 4 the authors had another thought. Why not see if those who grow to look most like each other are the happiest couples? Presumably, then, those who get on better, empathise with each other to a greater degree and therefore go on to look more similar. Unfortunately, this test failed to reach statistical significance, so this study doesn't give us enough evidence to say whether or not it is true.
A glimpse of the future?
A straw poll of people I've talked to about this research reveals a polarised reaction. Some think that growing to look more like your partner is an horrific idea. Others, though, think there's something very sweet and romantic about it. I think I'm in the latter camp.
There is one worrying possibility this study suggests. It is said if you want to find out what your partner will look like when they're older, you should look at your partner's parents. Perhaps a glance at your partner's parents might also reveal what you will look like in a couple of decades. Truly scary stuff!
» Related: find out whether dogs really resemble their owners.
» Read more weird psychology studies.
References
Zajonc, R.B., Adelmann, P.K., Murphy, S.T., & Niedenthal, P.M. (1987). Convergence in the physical appearance of spouses. Motivation and Emotion, 11(4), 335-346.
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I don´t really understand how the authors of the study control, if this similarity between a couple married for a long time is not simply because similar looking people better fit together and therefore are married for their life long. and couples made of different looking people just quit their relationship earlier, when they realize that they have different way-of-life or sth. ok, this may be included in the explanation, but what I mean is, it may be a priori excluded that there are photos of this non-fitting couples to look at and to judge similarities simply because non-fitting people do not have a long relationship--?
what about forced marriage?
I read the book "The Secret" and it says that the human body regrows completely every part within something like a few years. Well, our minds are what creates our thoughts and feelings, and our feelings shape who we are. If we look at ourselves in the mirror everyday and see what we look like then in our minds That person right there infront of us is what we look like. I think that if we are around someone close to us enough the thought of how they look and act becomes etched in our minds, we pick up on their manurisms and facial expressions and when our bodies are slowly regrowing we regrow with small traights of that other person. Perhaps it would take decades maybe.. since we dont unconsciously pick up their traights 24/7. But maybe if we did consciously imagine almost constantly that we were and looked exactly like that other person than perhaps within a few short years we would look a lot like them! :) hey that sounds pretty good eh?
What a interesting site :-)
Have read carefully through the post and all relevant comments, and yes, I do agree, many married couples or long term partners resemble eachother.
My Grandfather told me something interesting as a child, and I remember it still, he said"the only one gets, the larger your nose and ears gets"(lol), but in his case it was the truth, as I have seen pics of him as a young man, and his face definetelly looked different.
I agree with some of the comments, people do tend to be attracted to "familiar features", such as theire own or maybe a family mebers like a mothers facial features.
To date I have never been involved with somoene who even slightly resembles me or a family..makes one think hey..lol, maybe if I found my "twin"things would last..and we could grow old together in geriatric bliss..lol
Just a thought I had - I was jealous of my partner's ex girlfriend for a while because I thought she was more attractive than me. And they looked so much like each other - they had practically the same face!
Since then, this theory has even caused me worry, as I have often panicked and thought - "He's left his face twin for me, we are not as compatible!"
It sounds silly but then I had a period of what can only be described as obessive observation where I would suddenly start noticing all these couples who looked eerily alike..!
Then I got to thinking, my parents are different nationalities and I have a slightly unusual face, so it would be even harder to find my male face twin! Happy ever after..???
I find this quite romantic!
Interesting article! I had heard this theory, but this is the first write-up on it that I've read.
I've posted this verbatim on a discussion thread - it doesnt allow links, so I couldn't link your post. However I've said its been sourced from PsyBlog (assuming interested people would google to reach your page), though your name has not been mentioned. Sorry for the omission. If you have any objections, I'll write to the moderator to remove the post.
these findings are really interesting!!there is another thing that is very-well known. women who spend a lot of time together (at work, school,etc...) start to have their periods around the same time of the month and it goes on like that :) so these two support the idea that physical changes towards similarity are possible when human beings spend a loooong time together...wooww!! I mean if these two do really support each other and if there is this kind of an evolutionary change in the human body by just spending years together then wooowww really!!! I like it...
diet can totally be thought of differently, other then just chubbiness. Sugar affects the body through different ways, other then just fattening, it will also open up pores and affect how much energy you have.
the environment is going to affect how your feeling as well, you'll be tired at the same time, you'll likely feel relief at the same time when work is over, you'll go to the same places and laugh over the same things. Sunshine and rain will effect moods which creates similar expressions---similar expressions make people have similar features---empathy.
if two people are brooding and there used to brooding a certain way because it's all the see, most likely they are going to look similar. If two people are taking pictures and they are used to taking pictures together, mimicking each others expressions and having fun, they are most likely going to copy that persons expression when they are taking more photos, even when they are not together, because they are going to thinking of those time's indirectly, probably even directly as well.
This is a very interesting topic,however i'd like to expand on the subject and perhaps add another finding. I am a Social worker who has worked in many different of environments where i've practiced my trade and have noticed some things maybe someone can agree and possibly elaborate on. I have worked with various populations involved including prison and social service capacities. From working with so many different I've come to notice that people in general who look alike act alike even if they are unknown to each other in any capacity, I have done a sort of independent research and I wonder am i bugging out or is there really any validity to my theory, thanks-Lawrence M.
Thank you Jeremy. I like this article and it caused me to wonder whether there are also generation similarities. Certainly it is possible to discern patterns over time. I guess I am looking at faces over a long time span, so another factor is "Who's doing the looking?". Best wishes. Coinneach
does any know were i can get an orginal peer-review for this artical. its for a reseach project at varsity and i have searched every where and no luck
Hi Professor,
I have read my email and responded to the literature on comments on the psychological effects on the many topics and I found them very interesting. The one with the married couples looking alike after 25 years of marriage, is some what true but the findings of what's the cause do not seem likely. However, I have seen couples look alike and I used to say they now look like brothers and sisters. Now with this article It raises my eye brows. What Is the real cause of it. I am amazed at the different interesting comments but I still think that there is more to it than can be explained.
Thanks for sending me this link.