Satirical website The Onion reports that:

A television commercial for Nabisco's Fig Newton bars that debuted Friday preys on a wide range of innate human weaknesses, from greed and gluttony to the compulsive need for self-gratification in an otherwise cold and uncaring world, industry sources reported Monday.

"Flattery, pride, self-aggrandizement, fear of rejection: This latest Fig Newtons ad campaign fires on all cylinders," advertising executive and CNBC talk-show host Donny Deutsch said. "It has nothing but contempt for its target audience, its exploitative nature borders on the unethical, and it's one of the most brilliant marketing strategies in years."

[...]

Although the true effectiveness of the commercial has yet to be seen, early figures from Nabisco indicate a nearly 4 percent sales increase among many prized demographics, including unmarried women ages 18 to 37 who desperately wish to have a family, single men between the ages 25 and 40 who suffer from unresolved abandonment issues, and girls in the 7-10 age bracket who already possess debilitating body image concerns.

Entertaining but strangely I couldn't laugh because everything was too true.

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