Empathy Causes Facial Similarity Between Couples to Increase Over Time
Would you believe that people who live with each other for 25 years actually develop similar facial features? I don't just mean that people tend to choose partners who resemble them, rather that over time together couple's features actually converge. It's weird, but there's evidence for it from a singular study carried out by the noted psychologist Robert Zajonc and colleagues.
Here's what they did.
110 participants were shown photographs of men and women in their first year of marriage and of the same couples after 25 years of marriage. Then they were asked to judge their resemblance along with the chance that any man and woman were married to each other. The researchers went to a lot of effort to remove extraneous info and crop photos so that only faces could be seen.
The types of choices the participants made indicated the perception was that couples became more facially similar after 25 years together. The results could not be explained by people simply all looking the same as they got older. Also, data from a control group indicated participants were indeed making judgements on the basis of facial features rather than any other criteria.
So this means if you stick around with your partner, you'll end up looking more like them after a couple of decades. Which naturally raises the question: why?
Here are the possible explanations the authors suggest:
1. Diet. If you share your diet with another person it's possible this is the cause. For example if both partners eat a high fat diet, both their faces will tend to look chubby. The authors, however, ruled this out using an additional small study.
2. Environment. It could be that it's because couples live together in the same area. This means that environmental factors such as sunshine and so on affect the skin in similar ways. The authors rule this one out as well because all their married couples came from the same part of the US Midwest and were matched on a number of other socioeconomic variables.
3. Predisposition. This is the idea that people are more likely to choose partners who will grow to look like them. E.g. depressed people are attracted to each other, so end up looking depressed. The authors give this one a maybe, although it is not their favourite option.
4. Empathy. This is the theory the authors like - and so do I. People grow to look similar because they are empathising with each other and so copying each other's facial expressions. Over time because of all the empathising they are doing, their faces come to look more similar. For example, if one partner often smiles in a particular way, the other is likely to copy it - so creating similar patterns of wrinkles and furrows on the face.
Because they liked theory number 4 the authors had another thought. Why not see if those who grow to look most like each other are the happiest couples? Presumably, then, those who get on better, empathise with each other to a greater degree and therefore go on to look more similar. Unfortunately, this test failed to reach statistical significance, so this study doesn't give us enough evidence to say whether or not it is true.
A glimpse of the future?
A straw poll of people I've talked to about this research reveals a polarised reaction. Some think that growing to look more like your partner is an horrific idea. Others, though, think there's something very sweet and romantic about it. I think I'm in the latter camp.
There is one worrying possibility this study suggests. It is said if you want to find out what your partner will look like when they're older, you should look at your partner's parents. Perhaps a glance at your partner's parents might also reveal what you will look like in a couple of decades. Truly scary stuff!
» Related: find out whether dogs really resemble their owners.
» Read more weird psychology studies.
References
Zajonc, R.B., Adelmann, P.K., Murphy, S.T., & Niedenthal, P.M. (1987). Convergence in the physical appearance of spouses. Motivation and Emotion, 11(4), 335-346.
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Why is this scary? It is very interesting, indeed
Hi Vityok, glad you liked it. I guess how scary it is will depend on what your partner's parents look like!
Very interesting, as usual, Jeremy. I have often heard the old bromide that people who have been together for a long time look alike, but now I see that there it at least some explanation for it.
I would also note that one of my good friends has a younger sister and they look very alike and people who didn't know they were related would often ask if they were dating or say that they looked "cute" together. This hasn't happened to all of my friends with opposite-gender siblings but I always found it a little odd. I wonder if it was a retro-type effect of the phenomenon discussed here?
Vityok, I think you would understand why it is scary if you had ever seen my ex-in-laws! Thankfully, they are now firmly "ex" and I suppose I don't have to worry about looking like them.
Jeremy,
Interesting finding. I suspect that the process extends well beyond imitation and empathy into intersubjective dynamics that entail various pressures rooted both in concordant and complementary accomodations.
I've written more on that here.
Dr X, thanks for pointing that out. You mention neuroplasticity there which raises another intriguing possibility: that people's actual brains come to look more similar over time. So, perhaps the same experiment could be done as above but this time using neuroimaging - match the brain scans!
Jeremy,
There's an intriguing possibility!
That bodes well for me, but I have to to break some bad news to my wife.
Well, there is a Chinese term 夫妻相 which translates to "physiognomy of husband and wife"...
Thanks Onekell - very interesting. For some reason the Chinese characters you typed appeared correctly in my 'new comment alert' email but not on the site - which is a pity. I'll take a look to see if it can be fixed...
And we need a study to tell us this why?
Note: I'd like to see the photographs of the couples (or at least have some facial recognition software input). The skeletal structure will not alter that much so it would be interesting to see.
What's also intriguing is to study whether people can grow to resemble their pets.
Why not use blind couples to test this theory. -kegir
Anon, the actual photos would be interesting to see although I would guess they are covered by the confidentiality agreement for taking part in the study. So: no dice.
Won, it's funny you should say that because it's been done - I'll report it on PsyBlog shortly.
Ken, I'm not exactly sure what you're getting at.
I don't know... I think it goes alot deeper than one might first think. I like to think this occurs because of the "spiritual union" referred to in the "Bible". Where two spirits/bodies become "one" during marriage. I believe that our spirit is our "true self" and once we are married our spirits become one. And maybe after time, our bodies/earthsuits which are nothing more than building blocks to begin with, begin to manifest that inner being. If Husband & Wife share the same spirit, according to the bible, wouldn't it make sense that this would become physically evident after some time? I'm no bible-thumping zealot or anything, but I am spiritual in many ways. So, if this theory of mine has any merit, I wonder what I will look like in twenty years since I'm "divorced". Maybe since that spiritual bond has been broken, so will the pattern of transformation. I have another theory about this subject which has more to do with the "physics" involved, "mind/body connection" stuff. But I'm busy & fairly "uneducated", so maybe some other time. Peace - Jack H. Cope
Damn. Am I ever glad I divorced my first husband. Dodged a whack from the ugly stick that time.