Comments on: Parental Relationships After Divorce: From ‘Perfect Pals’ to ‘Fiery Foes’

By: Daisy

Daisy — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 01:00:30 +0000

Hi
A very useful way of asking separated couples which category they fit into and then exploring how to change or keep at what they are doing. This will be useful in my counselling job ...thanks!!
Good on you Greg!!
And Sarah... just be who you are and his kids will come to you!!
I am separated after 20 years of being together and we don't fit into any of the above categories....we have a split one lol...... My ex is revengeful, uncooperative and fights back whereas I stay quiet and leave the scene. Yet I am the happiest I have ever been. I guess I realise that he is reacting in that way cause he is still angry and grieving the loss.
Learn to understand where the other persn is coming from and learn to forgive. Trust me... you will come out feeling strong!!
daisy from Australia

By: Jeremy (PsyBlog author)

Jeremy (PsyBlog author) — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 17:24:00 +0000

Hi Anon, can't really give you advice here - apologies...

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 17:31:00 +0000

Is there any advice about "text-fighting"? My boyfriend does this constantly with his ex (not about practical stuff involving the kids, only about their relationship/resentments/issues)and I really don't think it's in any way constructive. I wish one or both of them would stop scratching this text-fighting itch and take the leap to truly move on. Would post-divorce couples therapy help?

By: Jeremy (PsyBlog author)

Jeremy (PsyBlog author) — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 08:20:00 +0000

Hi Sarah, it's difficult to say really - there's probably no easy solution otherwise you would have already done it...

Perhaps someone else has some experience of this...?

By: Sarah, UK

Sarah, UK — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 16:28:00 +0000

An interesting Blog. I am the 'other woman' if you like, in that my partner is divorced with two children and i would imagine fits into the cooperative collegues category. The problem is i have been living with him for over a year and his wife is resisting letting him introduce them to me - or even stay over night in our house!

Does anyone have any advice for me - i am at my wits end.

By: Jeremy (PsyBlog author)

Jeremy (PsyBlog author) — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 13:29:00 +0000

Thanks for your perspective Greg. You're right, categories like these tend to make things look neater than the messy business of real life.

By: Greg

Greg — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 13:16:00 +0000

A little too neat, but useful. a couple of quibbles: I am a divorced father of two. My ex- & I fit into the category of Cooperative Colleagues. It did not take any time to achieve this nor was/is it code for found another partner. We went into it consciously and with the intention of working together. There has, of course, been friction at times, but overall it's been as good as one could reasonably expect. I'm sure each category has numerous sub-categories for the various shades.

The point about "single parent" being a misnomer is excellent.